Stories of life in the suburbs with Husband and our daughter Squishy and son Button!

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

IUD Destruction

This is a hard post I've been working on it for a while. It's personal. At the same time, I feel like it should be known, on the off chance that you read it and can relate.

Eight weeks after Squishy was born, I went back to the midwives for birth control options. I opted for an IUD (Intro Uterine Device). At my one month post-partum check up, I had been given the choice between the copper IUD with no hormones, ParaGard, and the Mirena IUD, which has hormones. As I was told, the hormones in the Mirena are supposed to give a post partum woman light, pain free periods. Eventually they may go away altogether. The period, not the woman. The ParaGard may cause heavy, cramp filled periods that don't lighten over time. I was used to painful, heavy periods. So I opted to make my life easier with the Mirena. I was given the customary literature on both types of IUD, but my midwife covered the basics with me during the appointments. I did my research and was comfortable with my choice.

In the first four weeks, my skin cleared up (I've had moderate acne on my face since I was 12). Other than that, nothing else changed.

Over the next month, I changed as a person. I became a depressed, apathetic, angry, hateful, spiteful, irritable, mad person. I hated Husband for no reason. I didn't want to talk. This is the hard one: I met the needs of Squishy when she needed something, but I didn't care. I had lost me. I didn't love, smile, laugh, anything that I used to do. I didn't want to be touched in any way. I didn't kiss, hug, cuddle, or do anything else with my husband for two months. I have a tendency sometimes to be passive aggressive. This was not the same. I just didn't care.

I didn't realize I was a changed person since the change was slow and subtle. I was a danger to myself and my family. Husband tried bringing it up gently several times. I remember yelling at him, and not listening. It was a few times after that when I saw him start to cry that I thought maybe he was right. He had done his own research and was positive it was the hormones in my Mirena that were to blame. He had me read some testimonials online, and I was convinced. After finding the literature that my midwife had given me on the Mirena, I read that fewer than 5% of users report the following symptoms: nausea, nervousness, high blood pressure, swelling of hands and feet, depression, weight gain, joint pain, random rashes, irritability, apathy, loss of libido....I had everything on the list. I went to the Mirena website, and it took over an hour of reading and searching to find this list of side effects. It was under the FAQ on the bottom, in pale print.

My Mirena IUD had destroyed me. I needed it out. Now. The next week, I got it taken out and had the no hormone copper ParaGard put in. I told my midwife all about my symptoms, and that the Mirena was horrible. I didn't care about having painful periods, I was used to them anyway. I would have given anything to have my life back.

It took 3 or 4 weeks for my hormones to balance out and I was getting back to normal. I urge you to talk to your doctor if you are concerned that this is happening to you too. I know that it's not my fault, know that it's not your fault either. It can get better. I'm okay now. My family is happy again. But writing this and remembering the person I became makes me cry.

It's been over two months with the ParaGard IUD. I've had two periods and they are nothing compared to what they were before pregnancy. Thank you for reading this post. Please pass it along to anyone who might benefit from reading it.

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