Stories of life in the suburbs with Husband and our daughter Squishy and son Button!

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Overdue and Twiddling My Thumbs

I was 40 weeks and 4 days pregnant. You don't usually start counting day-to-day until 40 weeks. I didn't think I'd get to 40 let alone 40 and 4! But, there I was. 

I thought Button was just waiting for me to finish my knitting project. Nope. 

Then I thought Button was waiting for my mother in law to finish her knitting project. Nope. 

I was getting desperate. I really wanted to not be pregnant anymore. 

All the preparation, all the training for natural birth, everything I wanted and spent months talking about went right out the window. Induce me. Drug me up. I didn't care anymore. I cried every night. 

I would wake up every morning and wish it were night. I would lay down in bed crying every night wishing it were morning. I wanted the days to pass without me being asleep or awake. It was getting seriously uncomfortable to even be alive at all. 

The worst part was that Squishy was also suffering. I couldn't do anything. I sat on the couch all day. She tried her best to cope. She brought me books to read to her. But she couldn't even sit on my lap. We were suffering. 

I was days away from having another appointment with my midwife. On top of that I would have to sit through a non-stress test and go for an ultrasound to check fluid levels. These appointments had been scheduled for me across the span of an entire day. Three different trips to two places. Again, I was pleading with Button to come out. He was getting bigger every day. Maybe, I feared, too big.

Two days later, it was Father's Day.