Stories of life in the suburbs with Husband and our daughter Squishy and son Button!

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Family of Four

Previously on Expert Mommy... (Read this first!)

There would be no time for drugs. The fetenyl was sitting on the counter across the room. I could see it. But I couldn't have it. All around me there was a mad scramble happening. The combination of laying on that bed, being told that I was in transition, and that I would be doing it on my own made me lose control.

Let me tell you something: Everything I learned when I was preparing for a natural labor and delivery was about control. Owning your body, listening to your body, shutting out as much of the world as I could. I didn't know what techniques would work for me so I learned them all. I trusted Husband to protect me so I didn't have to defend myself. All of me was focused and in control of my situation. My preparation had prepared me for this. But I was distracted for a minute and it all vanished.

I lost control. It all came flooding back in and I was in intense pain. Before, like, 15 minutes before, nothing was different except I was in control. When I lost focus, the pain took over. I was losing. That's why this next part is so amazing and important to this story. My nurse who hadn't left my side since the bathtub grabbed my hand in both of hers and breathed “He-He-He-Whoo”. We locked eyes and breathed together. The world melted away and I got focus right away. I was in control again. The pain stopped.

I turned to face Husband who took up the rythym of “He-He-He-Whoo”. My mom came in at that point, someone had paged her. She was at my left shoulder and I was staring into my husband’s eyes. I was falling asleep. I was in a trance of breathing. I knew nothing else. Midwife cleared my cervix that was really just a lip and whispered (it seemed) that I was going to let baby come down on his own and when I couldn't not push anymore we would push.

“He-He-He Whoo…I need to push…” I whispered
"Let that baby come down..." Midwife whispered back

Then, all of a sudden, it was time. Pressure, heat, sharp. My body snapped into work mode and I pushed hard. Midwife said “This is a big baby.” Not quite the thing you want to hear when you’re pushing said baby out of your snatch, I thought. I pushed for 11 minutes that seemed like 2 minutes. He pooped all over everyone then put right on my chest at 5:54PM. All I could say was "Mom, I did it!" My mom and I were both crying.

We did delayed cord clamping. After only 5 minutes, it had stopped pulsing so Husband did the honors. Midwife gave me three little stitches. My nurse told husband that the kitchen closed at 6:30 so he should order me some food. She had great priorities. A hot meal is just what I needed.

Midwife and my mom knew that I was scared to have the baby taken away like Squishy had been, and they jumped to my defense when the nurse who came in to measure Button was getting pushy. I was still holding him and he was already nursing like a champ. My meal came and I had baked salmon and broccoli and a roll fed to me since I needed both my hands for Button. My nurse drew a bath and asked if I wanted to soak with him.

He was measured on our way to the bathtub. A brick of a baby. Tipping the scales at 9 pounds 5 ounces and 23 inches long. Husband and I went through our list of names and decided. My labor was less than 5 hours long.

I wouldn't change one minute of the day. Button and I were discharged 24 hours later. To my son:  may I be worthy of you.

1 comment:

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